Counselling for Chronic Illness

I received my chronic illness diagnosis in an Accident & Emergency department in 2023. My life changed in an instant. At first I was too ill to process it, spending weeks in a hospital bed just trying to survive. But as my body began a physical improvement my mental health spiralled. I had a chronic illness - I was going to be ill for the rest of my life. Even typing this now, years down the line, it still makes my heart sink.

Over the next few months I began the grieving process. I was angry at the world. Why did this have to happen to me? I'm a good person who has always looked after myself. I resented "healthy" people - they will never experience the challenges I will have to face day-in and day-out. It wasn't fair. My mood was low often. I found it hard to enjoy even good days because I  felt like I was waiting for the other shoe to drop - another hospital stay or medication failure. My appearance had changed. Steroid moonface, hair-loss and drastic weight changes all impacted my already crumbling self-esteem. I didn't recognise myself and I resented my body for failing me.

Logically, I knew my thinking was irrational. Being a good person doesn't protect you from life's tragedies and resenting "healthy" people would imply I wanted them to suffer like me, which of course wasn't the case. My body was fighting every day to keep me alive and it deserved respect.

At this point I feel have reached a level of acceptance about my illness. I still have down days and I believe I will grieve for the person I was pre-diagnosis for the rest of my life. But I now allow myself the time and space to feel those feelings without shame or guilt. I meet myself with compassion and give myself grace, on good and bad days. I am chronically ill and I can cope with that, even on days when I feel like I can't. I am brave even on days when I don't want to be. I treat myself with love and respect even when it's hard. 

Counselling provides a dedicated time and safe space to process the complex feelings that come with chronic illness. When sick, it is easy to put all of our focus on our physical health, leaving our mental wellbeing as a secondary priority. I personally see the mind-body connection with my illness and know that when I have not prioritised my mental health my physical health will suffer. My illness seems to thrive off anxiety and stress so I owe it to myself to look after all aspects of my mental health - I deserve it. 

If my experience resonates with you, please get in touch to start your counselling journey today. You don't have to navigate your illness alone. If you're ready to talk, I'm here to listen.